Is Ron Perlman pregnant with a Kaiju baby?
Also on the show, the boys wring out the Star Wars' schmatta rag to get a few drips of mango flavored rumor juice in their hairy, insidious mouths.
Do you want more? Fine! Cats are forging an alliance and taking over the streets and the guys are pretty sure that it's all a part of a secret evil pussy plan.
Hey, wanna hear Jason yell about reality TV? We can do that for you.
Hey, wanna hear the boys discuss the future of meat? We got that too.
We have all of these things and also, Jason and Jeremy debunk the sticky and unfortunate fruit rollups as condoms urban myth ON The BastardCast.
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This week on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy are visited by internet Land Baron Matthew Jackson and a case of the sillies. What will they discuss? All of it.
Oh, you have a thirst for detail and a hunger for madness? Aren't you the lucky bumble bee, cause this week, the boys and guest boy #1 discuss the persuasive charms of fried chicken, Vin Diesel's illuminating Facebook page, NERF's war against zombies and the children who have an appetite for squishy genocide, and the limited brilliance of Sharknado (needs more Nado and more Home Alone references!).
Also on the show: Bryan Singer tweets the back of maybe Michael Fassbender's head (and other parts), a porn company wants to work with Paula Deen (but not her pie), we ask Matt if robots knock-a-da-boots in PAC Rim, a couple of people take issue with the way Captain Kirk fancies cats.
Do you require more sustenance?! Suck on this, Pinky Tuscadero: we've got a full throated discussion on the critical roundhouse throat kick being delivered to Grown Ups 2, wonder about whether the possible X-Force movie could bring about Deadpool's cinematic rebirth while also making Rob Liefeld's nipples hard, and a celebration of the brave cheetah who almost took out Adam Sandler on the Serengeti.
All that and the band, Coco Phunk and the Methhead Conquistadores (w/ special guest Slow Motion Jeez Rocket)
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The BastardCast: They will find us with no pants and all of the chicken wing bones.
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This week on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy trick Badass Digest’s Evan Saathoff into coming on the show and then they talk about Universal Soldier, the best and worst of Jean-Claude Van Damme‘s time on this earth.
Also on the show: Nic Cage bought a pyramid for which to die in, Mark Hamill is going to talk to somebody official about being in Star Wars someday, Kevin Smith wants to teach stoners how to read, and Batman is more hazardous to young boys than a [insert stock catholicism joke here]
Jason and Jeremy also try to form words about the unholy joining of Michael Bay and Megan Fox for a movie about Turtles that may be Teenage Ninjas and Sony’s big invisible video game system is revealed… we think.
The Bastardcast: We’d eat a person if the circumstances demanded it.
This time on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy team up with Topless Robot overlord Rob Bricken to talk about the Elba/Bond rumors, the Evil Dead and Iron Man 3 trailers, Clark Kent becoming a blogger, the King of the Nerds depressing the shit out of us, the future of Nintendo, and the great action figure scaling wars.
After making the week’s headlines their bitch, Jason and Jeremy free Rob from their spell and then take on the greatest debate of all time (until next week) in VERSUS, when they ask who would win in an epic battle: JASON VOORHEES or A BOX FULL OF KITTENS!!! Can you dig it? I said CAN YOU DIG IT?!?!
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This time on the Peabody ignored Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy discuss the high points of a bacteria that poops gold, Mila Kunis‘ candidacy for Miss Glamour Puss of Earth-19 (aka the Sexiest Woman Alive), bullshit Marvel casting rumors, the real death of the dinosaurs, the benching of Community, and the greatest internet review of all time.
Then, in THE MAIN EVENT, our hosts discuss the mayhem of New York Comic Con and then briefly touch on that other event where a horde of diseased monsters stand between Jason and serenity (literally, the line for the Walking Dead panel is totes going to keep Jason from the Firefly panel) — The Walking Dead, which comes back to your television devices this Sunday. Will the Governor rise? Will Rick fall? Will it all take place in the snow globe of an autistic child? We just don’t know, so stop fucking asking us asshole!
Then, last and probably least, these fine young cannibals take you into the basement cage match where blood is spilled and Pokemon get cut — it’s the VERSUS ARENA and Jason is saying that a robot apocalypse trumps a zombie apocalypse because it will mean the end of twitter and because you can have less gross sex with a borg than you can with a walker. “Nuh uh, no you didn’t” says Jeremy though, as he punches Jason in the throat with his words and reminds him that zombies can’t climb stairs, so we would then all have more of a chance to survive. Except Jason because he’ll be knee deep in droid trim… apparently.
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